New Song

He has given me a new song to sing,

    a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see what he has done and be amazed.   
They will put their trust in the Lord.

(Psalm 40:3)

A healthy, seven-year-old boy bikes around the house on a sunny Saturday morning, inventing songs for Jesus as he pedals through the mountain grass.

Four years ago, this same boy was often seen alone in his neighborhood streets at night, entering into bakeries to demand bread for his hungry belly.  

God has truly put a new song in his mouth and heart, just as He has done and is doing with so many children that Formando Vidas (Shaping Lives) works with... and many other organizations all around the world!  (Good Shepherd's Fold in Uganda, for example).

And this is one of my prayers for their lives:  That many will see what God has done, be amazed, and put their trust in the Lord!

truth is power

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  -John 8:31-32

A while back I wrote about this verse, too, about how we often hear verse 32 out of its context:  You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
But first, we must 1. hold to Jesus' teaching  and 2. be his true disciples (living and growing in becoming more like him).

Last night, we had a special time of worship and fellowship with the ministry team.  Bibi and Julio's church often sends short-term missions teams, and right now part of the worship team is here for two weeks, helping in different areas of the ministry, painting the Oaks House, and last night, facilitating this space for us to connect with God and with each other out of our routine.
As the words of songs familiar and not washed over me, I started declaring my belief:  that I can, and will see the Spirit at work in and through me.  That, to those who believe in Jeses, rivers of living water will flow out from within.  ... Even if I mess it up? (yes)  Despite my mistakes (yes) and losing my temper (yes) and not living in the Spirit (yes) and by the Spirit's fruit in my life?  YES.
Because I've been giving my natural self more power than what I've been giving to the Spirit and to Jesus' blood.  And in so doing, I was giving the devil a foothold, more power than he deserves!

One of our teens has recently experienced a lot of fear: not being able to sleep, waking up at night feeling like someone is in her room... Fear paralyzes us, and gives our spiritual enemy power over us.  But holding to Jesus, and claiming the truth of the power of His blood, frees us to live fully.

Jesus was our ultimate example of living in the Spirit.  Let's not believe the lie that "it was easy for him because he's God!" -- because he willingly put off his Godhood and took on the form of a man, and became obedient to all that affects mankind.  And yet, Jesus learned to live completely dependent on His Father, and to live in the Spirit... that mysterious "living in the Spirit"... Jesus knew that he needed God and that he couldn't live in a way to please God without utterly depending on Him, and staying in constant contact with the Father, listening to the Spirit.

...I long for that.

recovery

On Monday I had sinus surgery.  The procedure was quick -- about an hour, I think.  It was the first time I had general anesthesia, and I'm very thankful that I didn't have any of the side-effects I'd be warned about, especially vomiting.  I hate vomiting.  My only side-effects were crying a lot and that I wasn't cold.  I usually sleep with wool socks, a sweatsuit, two thin blankets and a down comforter, but that night I was hot without socks or a sweatshirt, and I couldn't stand any more than a sheet and small fleece throw blanket!
In this surgery, the doctor went in through my nostril, peeled back the skin, and cut off part of my deviated septum.  She also burned some other enlarged bone structures.  The point of all this is to open up more space to help me with my chronic rhinitis and sinus infection problems.

It's really not painful...

But it sure is ANNOYING!

I have to do lots of nasal rinses and I can't blow my nose, even though I always feel like I need to.  Pretty much all the time that I'm not squirting water up my nostrils I have dried blood boogers that pull at the insides of my nose.  Along with the stiches and some sort of plastic (?) sheet covering the burned bone, I'm almost always uncomfortable.  The first two nights were the worst, since I had giant sponge-like plugs up my nostrils and I felt like I was choking.  I'm so grateful for my friend, housemate, and sister-in-law to be for sharing her bed with me, helping me clean out my nose, passing me my pills, and taking care of me in general.  My fiancee comes around to make sure I'm being obedient and not doing anything too strenuous, and to keep me entertained by covering his nose with gauze and whatnot.

I sure hope this helps.  Because this recovery is really tiresome.

water miracle!

A few weeks back, I wrote about the water emergency up here at the farm... that one of the springs is dry, and the other barely dripping, and it hasn't been raining that much, and the reserve water we had disappeared...
I also wrote about how, a few years back in a terrible drought, our farm was the only one around here that still had water -- and it was miraculous, especially when we learned that one of the biggest reserve tanks had a crack in it.  Yet we never had to buy water; Jehovah Jireh, who caused water to burst forth from a rock in a Middle Eastern desert, also did a water miracle on a Colombian mountain.  God confirming himself as sovereign provider!
When our director left for a trip at the end of May, he measured the reserve and told us we had approximately 120 square meters of water: 3 months' worth.  We've been careful.  We've been praying for rain.  We've been trusting God.
On Saturday (over 5 weeks after he checked the tank) I went up to measure the water.  It appears that we now have MORE water than before he left!!!  The springs are still not flowing like they should, and there haven't been any heavy rains, yet... the water hasn't diminished.  It has, in fact, been multiplied!!!

And THAT, my friends, is a miracle.

Self-defense

Not defending my viewpoint, my actions, or myself... it's so difficult for me.
I'm sure I'm not alone.
Comparing myself ... to you, or that guy over there, or the lady in the grocery store... comparing myself doesn't help, doesn't change the problem, doesn't calm arguments.
A gentle word turns away anger.  But...
In order to give a gentle word, my anger and self-defense must first be deflected, right?

Admitting our short-comings takes away their power over us.  Just like giving sin it's name takes it out of hiding and begins to weaken the death-grip.
I have a problem with always wanting to be right.  And with defending myself in that right-ness.

The thing is, it isn't my "rightness" -- but my self-defense -- that is all wrong.  My approach is only self-serving, self-covering, self-justifying.

And recognizing that my rightness, or my approach to it, is resoundingly wrong... is not enough.
Recognition of the problem is important, but it can't end there.
For a while, I have correctly recognized false beliefs -- for example, "If someone doesn't recognize or admit that I'm right, or that I'm doing x,y or z well, correctly, the best way possible... then my value is lessened.  Therefore, I must defend myself tooth and nail, in order to defend my worth." That's a lie, but I bought into it -- but recognizing the false belief isn't all it takes to be free!

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “ If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

In John 8:31-32 there are three distinct steps to being FREE (from the lies I've believed):
1. believe in Jesus
2. continue in his Word
3. know the Truth, and be free

I've only been walking half-way through this process, so it's no wonder that I haven't felt "free indeed."  I believe in Jesus, I read and study the Word, and I often recognize my problems, but I haven't combated them with the Truth found in the Word, committed that Word-Truth to heart, and applied it on a daily basis.

So, someone doesn't appreciate my brilliance and right-ness?  Someone doesn't value all that I do or say as I wish they would?  Someone doesn't respect me?  That doesn't take away my inherent, God-breathed identity and worth.  And I can back it up with this Word-Truth:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ... and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith...
(Phil. 3:7-9)

And for each false belief that's been keeping me from living in the freedom Jesus came to give... there is a Word-Truth that the Holy Spirit wants to give me.  It's time to say "no" to my self-defense, and "yes" to this Truth.  It's time to make a habit of reciting it to myself in the moments I feel attacked, or want to attack others.

no more long-distance!

Julio is living here in La Calera now.  It's really great to have him closeby, to see each other every day, to be able to call each other without using up all of our minutes!  Also, it's a bit surreal... after so long of being long-distance, we're finally in what could be considered a "normal" relationship!
The weird thing is, the other times he was here visiting, it was short-term and he was on vacation.  Nowadays, though, he lives and works here; he has a schedule and so we're having to learn to be in a "normal" relationship in that sense, too.
It's always a balance, huh?  When you're apart, the calls and emails might be spaced further apart, but somehow you manage to dedicate your full attention to them.  When you're in the same geographical location, time is and must be divided between a variety of valuable endeavors: you may get more face-time, but it's less undivided.

But it's all good!

refuge

Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.

I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord: apart from you I have no good thing."

As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods.

I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.

Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup (you are my portion); you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have falled for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.


I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.


I have set the Lord always before me.  Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.


Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,


because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.


You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence (in your presence is fullness of joy), with eternal pleasures at your right hand.



Psalm 16.
Not the one I was looking for today, but definitely something I needed to read.  To let soak in.  To receive.
"Apart from you I have no good thing."  not one. not my friends, not my family, not my fiance, not the kids, not this ministry and vision, not even the sun to warm me... apart from Jesus, nothing is good.  with Jesus, even the struggles lead to something good.  beauty for ashes.  gladness for mourning.  laughter for tears.  life for death.
You are my portion.  and you are enough.  more than enough.  sufficient.  abundant.  overflowing. never-running-out.  
The boundary lines have fallen for in in pleasant places.  Surely I have a delightful inheritance.  and not by chance.  surely you, oh God, have chosen an inheritance that is delightful, and boundary lines that are pleasant for me.  your will and your plans are not only perfect and good, but also pleasing and agreeable.
I will praise the Lord!
I will not be shaken
my heart is glad
my tongue rejoices
my body also will rest secure
...for in you I take refuge
in your presence is fullness of joy.




His presence IS the blessing.  I need to receive what's already mine: fullness of joy, security, stability, peace, every good thing, the assurance that God holds the outcome in his hands, and that even as he allows difficulties, it is to work them into a beautiful redemption in our lives.