My posts this month are like bookends to October... almost.
It has gotten chilly. I am wearing a scarf. I sit on the floor next to the furnace grate to eat my breakfast and read in the mornings.
While doing so this week, I noticed several books on E's shelf that I may be interested in reading. I think I'll spend these next 7 or 8 weeks reading and reading and reading my brains out, not necessarily trying to absorb or retain it all, but just to be bathed in others' words and thoughts.
That's right, folks, seven or eight short weeks are all that remain of Emily in Greensboro. In addition to reading until my face falls off, I hope to spend as much time as possible with all of YOU who live here. I love you, you know? And I'm going to miss you, more than I'll miss the Green Bean, and Jack's Corner, and Cheesecakes by Alex, and Foust Park, and all of Tate St., Simple Kneads, and my various homes over the past five years.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Focus, Emily! Focus!
Yes, that's right. As of yesterday "focus" is a new prayer priority for me.
I was reading my friend Rehanna's blog about vision -- how even when we have the "what" of our life vision (i.e. what it is we are passionate about and feel drawn or 'called' to do), it may take a lot more time to get the where, when, and how of that vision.
After catching up on that and others of her posts, I realized that I feel like I don't even solidly have the "what"! I easily get empassioned about issues and ideas and taking actions -- and I like that about myself, that I am able to be passionate. But it's all over the place and I want to narrow it down so I can be effective in where I'm pouring my energy and my passion. (I'm wary of my use of the term or concept of "effectiveness" but I'll leave that alone for now because I don't know if it's misplaced or not.)
It's tempting for me to want to know permanent focus -- what I'll do with "the rest of my life" -- but I doubt I will get that information, and I'm not yet sure I actually want it.
I thought to myself, "This scattered-energies business will end once I leave Greensboro! Then I'll be in Bogota and it will be obvious what my focus is!" ... but then on Monday I realized that no matter where I go I will have opportunities to get spread out too thin. I could easily see or feel that D. Higuita wants me to get on board with his ministry and peacemaking in Colombia, but I'm just interested in talking with Colombians, finding potential churches for me to be a part of, knowing more about the country's history and present situation!
So, I'll continue praying for 1.) Focus in Vision and, back to that recurring request 2.) being able to know my boundaries and say "no"
I was reading my friend Rehanna's blog about vision -- how even when we have the "what" of our life vision (i.e. what it is we are passionate about and feel drawn or 'called' to do), it may take a lot more time to get the where, when, and how of that vision.
After catching up on that and others of her posts, I realized that I feel like I don't even solidly have the "what"! I easily get empassioned about issues and ideas and taking actions -- and I like that about myself, that I am able to be passionate. But it's all over the place and I want to narrow it down so I can be effective in where I'm pouring my energy and my passion. (I'm wary of my use of the term or concept of "effectiveness" but I'll leave that alone for now because I don't know if it's misplaced or not.)
It's tempting for me to want to know permanent focus -- what I'll do with "the rest of my life" -- but I doubt I will get that information, and I'm not yet sure I actually want it.
I thought to myself, "This scattered-energies business will end once I leave Greensboro! Then I'll be in Bogota and it will be obvious what my focus is!" ... but then on Monday I realized that no matter where I go I will have opportunities to get spread out too thin. I could easily see or feel that D. Higuita wants me to get on board with his ministry and peacemaking in Colombia, but I'm just interested in talking with Colombians, finding potential churches for me to be a part of, knowing more about the country's history and present situation!
So, I'll continue praying for 1.) Focus in Vision and, back to that recurring request 2.) being able to know my boundaries and say "no"
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