Surrounded by languages I didn't understand, in a setting that's still very new to me, where I don't yet have friends, I stood a bit awkwardly and walked down the hall and back a couple of times, trying to seem like I had something to do or someone to go chat with. Listening to the rhythm of the Africans' speech, I couldn't help but smile. I felt full of joy this morning during this break at work, while the students visited with friends in different classes and I waited for the time to end so we could play alphabet bingo.
While I smiled and wished I could know what they were discussing in Kirundi, with a thankful heart I realized that I've had great joy in my work this week. That on Wednesday night as I drifted off to sleep I was actually excited to get up really early the next day and make the trek to High Point to go teach what is often my most difficult and least favorite class. That I get to spend my days with people who truly appreciate what I have to offer and whose lives I can actually impact. That I am immersed in new cultures and have students who not only want to improve their English, but who are also curious about their classmates' lives and traditions in their countries of origin.
On Wednesday afternoon I was greatly blessed to go spend about an hour at the house of a former student, a 24-year-old Egyptian wife and the mother of 8-month-old and adorable 'Hammed. She cooked me a feast. She blessed me greatly with genuine love and overwhelming hospitality. I want to be a blessing to her in whatever ways I am able.
Relationships. When I feel frustrated or tired of my job and working with people who show up late, or not at all, whose cell phones go off too much, or with whom I can't really communicate too well (or at all), I want to be able to return, to refocus on what matters. Love.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am as a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
Teaching English is good, it is valuable, it is necessary and desired and appreciated. But teaching English is not the end-all. It is a means to love, in relationships (even though they must be bounded by professionalism, which means they can't get too personal). And this week I count it as one of my biggest blessings to have work which is purposeful for my "clients", fulfilling for me personally, and that provides an outlet for me to learn more about incarnational love and radical approachability.
Also, it was my birthday today (yesterday, by this point), and it was wonderful. I worked, I cooked good food for myself, I read for an hour, and I spent a lot of quality time with friends! (As an added bonus, I went the whole day without using my car, but I did bum a ride from Leah, so my day wasn't 100% car-free.)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I have flea bites.
Back to the "new humanity"...
Relationship is integral to ushering in the kingdom of heaven. One-on-one attention, face time, touch. And this both thrills and terrifies me.
I fear contamination. I don't want to get lice. I don't want to get dirty. I want to be cute and clean and comfortable. So God is calling me out of that, away from what I know and like and into the mess -- the mess of slums and brothels and stench and loveless families -- to meet with him.
I like the idea of it, but the reality is distasteful.
And why, for me, is it necessary to go so far and into such technicolor chaos in order to wrestle and learn? For some, having relationships with intellectuals, the Harvard professor-types, is their ministry. That's clean. That's comfortable, and you can even look cute (although after all-night conversations over countless cups of coffee you will eventually smell a bit, look a little rough, and need a shower and some sleep). (please know that I do not think any less of those called to this area. I'm merely lamenting the fact that I don't have a similarly lice-free, dirty diaper-free people group to work with.)
I feel drawn to kids who come up and ask me questions point-blank and who want some attention and who often want to play... and it goes so much deeper than that, in fact much deeper than I can imagine as of yet, but this is an entry-point. I don't feel on-guard with them. We make friends easily. And I love them easily, and I hurt for them and desire good for them. And the scruffy ones on the street in Latin America, the ones who have come up asking for money, the ones who are men and women in the bodies of children because they have seen, heard, felt too much pain and ugliness, the ones who squeeze themselves around me on the bench: for those, I dream restoration! I dream the freedom to play, to trust, to rest in the assurance of love and that a grown-up is going to take care of it! I dream for them what I was blessed enough to have: a childhood.
That they may grow up and offer the same gift to their children, and grandchildren. That through God's grace and my willing hands and heart (alongside many others) he can rebuild families that for generations have been broken, downtrodden, empty of hope. That a light will pierce through the darkness, a light which the darkness cannot comprehend (neither understand nor stamp out). And what is the mode of bringing this light? "The WORD became flesh and dwelt among us." (John 1:14)
Face-to-face. Here I go, both now in Greensboro and next year in Bogotá.
Relationship is integral to ushering in the kingdom of heaven. One-on-one attention, face time, touch. And this both thrills and terrifies me.
I fear contamination. I don't want to get lice. I don't want to get dirty. I want to be cute and clean and comfortable. So God is calling me out of that, away from what I know and like and into the mess -- the mess of slums and brothels and stench and loveless families -- to meet with him.
I like the idea of it, but the reality is distasteful.
And why, for me, is it necessary to go so far and into such technicolor chaos in order to wrestle and learn? For some, having relationships with intellectuals, the Harvard professor-types, is their ministry. That's clean. That's comfortable, and you can even look cute (although after all-night conversations over countless cups of coffee you will eventually smell a bit, look a little rough, and need a shower and some sleep). (please know that I do not think any less of those called to this area. I'm merely lamenting the fact that I don't have a similarly lice-free, dirty diaper-free people group to work with.)
I feel drawn to kids who come up and ask me questions point-blank and who want some attention and who often want to play... and it goes so much deeper than that, in fact much deeper than I can imagine as of yet, but this is an entry-point. I don't feel on-guard with them. We make friends easily. And I love them easily, and I hurt for them and desire good for them. And the scruffy ones on the street in Latin America, the ones who have come up asking for money, the ones who are men and women in the bodies of children because they have seen, heard, felt too much pain and ugliness, the ones who squeeze themselves around me on the bench: for those, I dream restoration! I dream the freedom to play, to trust, to rest in the assurance of love and that a grown-up is going to take care of it! I dream for them what I was blessed enough to have: a childhood.
That they may grow up and offer the same gift to their children, and grandchildren. That through God's grace and my willing hands and heart (alongside many others) he can rebuild families that for generations have been broken, downtrodden, empty of hope. That a light will pierce through the darkness, a light which the darkness cannot comprehend (neither understand nor stamp out). And what is the mode of bringing this light? "The WORD became flesh and dwelt among us." (John 1:14)
Face-to-face. Here I go, both now in Greensboro and next year in Bogotá.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
quick update
This post won't meet up to the "literary standard" I try to set for myself, but I feel the need to post something since I haven't in so long!
I got back to Greensboro today after 8 days in Bogotá, Colombia. I'll be moving there in February 2009, Lord willing (i.e. if my fund raising and visa acquisition go well between now and then). I stayed there to meet the staff and see some of the program sites of the organization, Formando Vidas. It was good and God faithfully provided for me to go, begin to make friends, and meet with Him.
I hope to update with more details and reflection soon. If you want to be on my email/prayer/support list, please let me know.
I got back to Greensboro today after 8 days in Bogotá, Colombia. I'll be moving there in February 2009, Lord willing (i.e. if my fund raising and visa acquisition go well between now and then). I stayed there to meet the staff and see some of the program sites of the organization, Formando Vidas. It was good and God faithfully provided for me to go, begin to make friends, and meet with Him.
I hope to update with more details and reflection soon. If you want to be on my email/prayer/support list, please let me know.
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