FALL

I have one "regular" week left here, then a week of travel with a couple friends, then a few days to get my things in order.

My emotions are so mixed I'm not even able to process them all completely.

Bibiana says that the process of the DTS starts before one goes, and I know that. I know that my recent (and coming) moments of revelation, of tears, of breaking truth, are leading up to the six months I'll spend focusing on God.

With so many questions I'm tempted to say "prove me wrong, God" but today, listening to a 100 Portraits & Waterdeep song, I softened a bit. If I want to be made new, if I want Him to make sense of the questions and the dreams and the realities --of the fact of "almost but not yet" which is the state of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth and of our new life in Christ-- then I have to be open to the work of the Spirit.

Will I let myself fall on the Rock and be broken, or will the Rock have to fall on top of me? If I LET myself fall, there's more chance of putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.*

"Since I am so sick, Since I am in need, Since I have no healing within me:
Oh, my God, be mindful of me...You are my help and my Redeemer.
Unto You, oh Lord, I lift up my soul, In Your loving-kindness I believe.
SURELY THOSE WHO WAIT ON YOU WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED;
ALL OF THOSE WHO FALL ON YOU WILL KNOW THE FAITHFULNESS OF YOUR NAME."
(album: Enter the Worship Circle/ song: Since I am so sick)


*Matthew 21:44
also interesting Matthew 21:28-30 ... which will I be? and you? and, are there only two options?