Beautiful

This song, by Bethany Dillon, expresses the "existential anguish" that I sometimes feel and the only satisfactory answer to this struggle:

"I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful
...
Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory
...
You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful."

In church last Sunday the pastor spoke about orphanhood versus son/daughterhood. The mentality of an orphan is that you have to EARN love. It is the spirit behind guilt-based works and life. This spiritual orphanhood, even for those who are God's adopted children (John 1:12 -- to all who believe he gives the right to become children of God), inhibits our fullness of life and our freedom to be ourselves.
If you haven't already self-identified with any of this (as I did as soon as the pastor started speaking!), ask yourself this question:
Do I feel loved, accepted, and valued for who I am, just as I am?

The TRUTH is that we are.
But to what point have we believed the lie, and let the brokenness become part of us, until we think that it's just natural and there's no way of escaping the orphanhood?

Holy Spirit, keep shining, bringing to light the lies that are so cleverly disguised. And break them! Replace them! Transform us through the renewal of our minds...