consequences

Parenting is difficult. I know that's not a new idea, but it's becoming more and more real in my life.
We set rules and guidelines, and the decisions that the kids make bring them consequences, whether positive or negative. For example, L. didn't do her homework and her chore in time, so she didn't get to watch the movie. Bummer.

Li'l J. went into our bathroom (again) and filled up the liquid soap dispenser with water (again). Since it doesn't seem to make a difference that we've told him several times that he can't play with water, filling things with water (the toothpaste tube, the toothbrush holder, our soap dispenser...), he got a "pow pow". Bummer.

The older girls have an opportunity to earn an allowance every week, if they do all the chores we ask them to do (things like making their beds, doing their homework, helping take out the trash... basic stuff), and if they remind us to check off their list so we can all see what they've done and not. But when they don't tell us "Look, I cleaned up the bathroom, please check off the list" then they don't earn as much money. Bummer.

When I have to confront a kid for lying, or for not doing homework, or for disobeying, I have to follow through with the negative consequences promised. Plus, they lose our trust. Bummer.

When I speak in frustration and stress, it affects the kids and then we don't make any positive progress... except, I suppose, that I get another opportunity to learn about humility, apologizing, and working on relationship and communication.