Self-defense

Not defending my viewpoint, my actions, or myself... it's so difficult for me.
I'm sure I'm not alone.
Comparing myself ... to you, or that guy over there, or the lady in the grocery store... comparing myself doesn't help, doesn't change the problem, doesn't calm arguments.
A gentle word turns away anger.  But...
In order to give a gentle word, my anger and self-defense must first be deflected, right?

Admitting our short-comings takes away their power over us.  Just like giving sin it's name takes it out of hiding and begins to weaken the death-grip.
I have a problem with always wanting to be right.  And with defending myself in that right-ness.

The thing is, it isn't my "rightness" -- but my self-defense -- that is all wrong.  My approach is only self-serving, self-covering, self-justifying.

And recognizing that my rightness, or my approach to it, is resoundingly wrong... is not enough.
Recognition of the problem is important, but it can't end there.
For a while, I have correctly recognized false beliefs -- for example, "If someone doesn't recognize or admit that I'm right, or that I'm doing x,y or z well, correctly, the best way possible... then my value is lessened.  Therefore, I must defend myself tooth and nail, in order to defend my worth." That's a lie, but I bought into it -- but recognizing the false belief isn't all it takes to be free!

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “ If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

In John 8:31-32 there are three distinct steps to being FREE (from the lies I've believed):
1. believe in Jesus
2. continue in his Word
3. know the Truth, and be free

I've only been walking half-way through this process, so it's no wonder that I haven't felt "free indeed."  I believe in Jesus, I read and study the Word, and I often recognize my problems, but I haven't combated them with the Truth found in the Word, committed that Word-Truth to heart, and applied it on a daily basis.

So, someone doesn't appreciate my brilliance and right-ness?  Someone doesn't value all that I do or say as I wish they would?  Someone doesn't respect me?  That doesn't take away my inherent, God-breathed identity and worth.  And I can back it up with this Word-Truth:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ... and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith...
(Phil. 3:7-9)

And for each false belief that's been keeping me from living in the freedom Jesus came to give... there is a Word-Truth that the Holy Spirit wants to give me.  It's time to say "no" to my self-defense, and "yes" to this Truth.  It's time to make a habit of reciting it to myself in the moments I feel attacked, or want to attack others.