Jacob was blessed because he didn't stop wrestling with the divine being who appeared to him. He was given a new name: instead of Jacob, "he grasps the heel" (figuratively, "deceiver"), he became Israel, "he struggles with God". And he was given a blessing. The next day he went with humility and assurance of God's faithfulness to meet his brother, uncertain of the outcome. (Genesis 25 and 32-33)
This whole Jacob-and-Esau section of history has always been fascinating to me.
Will I hold on to God until dawn and receive His blessing? Will I continue to wrestle through the tough issues that come up, or just ignore them for being too difficult? Will I continue to 'work out my salvation with fear and trembling'? (Philippians 2:12)
Money-spending, -saving, and -investing. Political decisions and actions. Familial and non-familial relations. Relocation? Intentional displacement? Community involvment? How much? How? What? Where?
Personal harmony? Reconciling my physical and spiritual aspects, or at least claiming them both, without sacrificing either...
I can read and think and journal and talk about these struggles ad nauseum, but there's only so much I can do on my own. I guess I just have to hold on and wait until daybreak; to wait to be blessed with better understanding my roles and my callings, myself and my God.
1 comment:
Recently someone joked with me (half-joking), "Why did you name your son Jacob when it means 'deceiver'?" Actually, as you pointed out, it means "he grabs the heel" which I think developed into an expression for deceiver, but the awesome thing about Jacob's story is that God didn't wait for him to clean up and become "Israel" before He pursued him. He came to Jacob in his deceiver state and loved him, called him. ANd over and over, God is referred to as "the God of Jacob". He is the God of the struggler, transforming us into being more like Christ. Interestingly, "he grabs the heel" could be seen as "grabber", and then Israel means "God-grabber." Jacob is not obliterated in his renaming, but rather God reshapes who he is to more reflect His glory.
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