Melgar and love

Saturday morning we woke up early, congregated at the Strong Tower (Torre Fuerte: the name of the house I live in), and left in the ministry bus by about 7 a.m. Twelve of us volunteers were headed to Hot Country, to the town of Melgar, to relax for the weekend. Li'l J. stayed at the farm with the other ministry kids and the directors.
We got out of the city, we saw mountains that weren't covered in buildings or shrouded in smog. My ears popped as we lowered, but the mountains didn't disappear like they do in Appalachia. It got warm! Finally we pulled up in front of the Hotel los Toboganes de Melgar, in the rain, but: warm! work-free! on vacation!
It went something like this: check into the rooms, put on swimsuits, jump in the pool, go down the water slides, feel a little out of place as the only foreigners in this hotel (but not too out of place to enjoy ourselves), nap, sit in the late afternoon sun, eat dinner, change, go dancing!
Sunday was more of the same: resting, walking through the town, and generally enjoying ourselves.
Monday morning I pulled out my earplugs just in time to find out that everyone was about to leave to go rent motorbikes, so I got up and got ready quickly (I know that's surprising to anyone who's ever lived with me). We got the motos and started buzzing around, two by two. I sat behind Ingrid and felt like Dumb&Dumber on the tiniest scooter ever. Then we broke down, but I did get to ride a bit more with another coworker.
All told, it was a very fun weekend! I didn't get sunburnt (thank you, SPF 30 and cloud cover), I got to know my coworkers better, we danced, I saw nature, and when we went back to work today I was in a good mood and happy to see the kids. I really think J. grew a centimeter over the weekend! He's been really sweet today (mostly).

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This morning I prayed that I'll really LOVE li'l J. More than just caring for him and having sweet feelings toward the kid, but really selfless, consistent love. Then I read for a bit, just picking up where I'd started in 1 Samuel, chapter 24 -- and it was when David spares Saul's life. They're in a cave, Saul doesn't know David's in there and David's men encourage him to kill the king, his enemy. But David has mercy, shows respect, loves where he hasn't received love.
This afternoon, when J. went down for his nap and I was washing dishes, I realized with thanksgiving that God loves these kids we work with waaaay more than we ever can. And we care about them a lot. We want only the best for them. We put a lot into them. And God loves me even more than I love myself (which is a lot; I won't pretend self-loathing). And then a song came to mind, which I went and listened to and started learning to play on the guitar:
"...I know all my broken places like the back of my hand
That slapped your face again
Wash me in your love and hold me tight like a baby
Till I have no memory of ever breaking Your heart
And in the joy when you restore me I will stand and walk again
I will run into this world I will call them to come in
But I will not point my finger or grow that wicked skin
That cannot remember what I will not forget
How I broke you, or how I'm broken..."
I love the images of Jesus' love washing away even the memory of my sins, but then that I also don't want to forget where I've been and what he's done for me... because then that love can flow through me.

Finally, there's this quote by quaker Harold Loukes that I received just before moving here:
"An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception."