this business is risky

It's risky indeed, this business of BEING. Because central to this mission of embracing my human-ness and your human-ness, and of ushering in a new humanity, is a vulnerability so eXtreme that it could be a sport.
My lame joking aside, the choice between protecting myself and taking chances in the unpredictable realm of relationships is really difficult! I want to live in the tension and not throw the baby out with the bathwater... but there's so much dingy water that I sometimes wonder if the baby is worth getting my arms wet and dirty.
But neither do I want to be so paralyzed by fear that I cannot be an agent of grace, a "mobile garden" in the dried-out world, bringing hope. This isn't all about me reaching out to others, either. I need/want others to extend themselves to me, but I want it to be safe. I don't want to get hurt. And I (mostly) don't want to hurt anyone else. ('mostly' because the baggage includes a knife that's begging to be used to hurt and reject someone at least once!)

What can thaw the fear? What can break the self-protecting, self-seeking streak in me?

Here's Rob Bell on the subject:
"If there is a God who loves us and has acted in history to express that love, what would it look like? This is what I mean by the sheer poetry of the Jesus story. Jesus is God coming to us in love. Sheer unadulterated, unfiltered love. Stripped of everything that could get in the way. Naked and vulnerable, hanging on a cross, asking the question, 'What will you do with me?'
This is why for thousands of years Christians have found the cross to be so central to life. It speaks to us of God's suffering, God's pain, God's broken heart. It's God making the first move and then waiting for our response. If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels. If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels. If you have ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with love of their own, you know how God feels." (Sex God 105-106)

... because He first loved me. God's movement toward me, making himself completely vulnerable and putting the power in my hands to accept or reject him -- let me seek courage there, in the power of the slain lamb.


[NOTE: I still think there have to be some boundaries for protection in all relationship, but in the choice to extend myself or retreat I hope to vote for risk-taking love every time.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23)]